I worked at XX from September 17, 2001 until November 16, 2007. 6+ years of my life. A longer tenure than high school or college, a longer span than any intimate relationship or serious commitment held prior.
If there’s one piece of advice every young professional should receive, is that he/she shouldn’t spend more than two years at a first job. When you do you never understand your full potential, never truly know if you are doing a good job at your profession or if you are simply doing a good job where you work. And there is a BIG difference.
I recently left the only grownup job I have ever known with mixed results. On the one hand, I was miserable at my previous company – aching for more responsibility, yet not seeking such an important role there. Quitting was one of the most rewarding days of my life – the day I finally let go of the hold of an ultra-controlling boss and the day I finally decided I was in charge of my own professional fate. It was freeing, satisfying, and undeniably ego-boosting.
It has now been two months since I left said job and I am now settled into the new one – the one my current bosses OFFERED me (this was a first for me, as I previously only interviewed as an entry-level candidate). Much of me loves it – loves the newfound responsibilities and excitement that accompanies this role. Yet the other half of me is worried that I have still not found – or accepted – my real calling. After all, I am a publicist once more, working in a profession I said I would never do again.
Most – if not all – days, I enjoy it. But every so often, like today, I am filled with this overwhelming feeling that something is amiss. That my creative side is being quelled in favor of a career that I may or may not even want. It’s a tricky predicament, a confusing and anxious sentiment that I can’t quite come to terms with yet.
And that’s why I urge young people never to stay at a company for more than 700 or so days, as you will ultimately find yourself confused, exhausted, and unsatisfied. Miles away from the dreams you had when you first finished college.
In other words: I get a paycheck; I like my job; but I have not yet discovered what it is I am supposed to work as/for during my life.
Tuesday, January 08, 2008
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23 comments:
I hear you on that -- I was planning on bailing out on my first job at the two-year mark, regardless of whether I had anything lined up. I was saved from that limbo when an opportunity I was prepared for arose, and it's only a 10-month gig to start, so I've got that move to ponder come October.
As for the nagging feeling, I hear you on that ... I pursued sports journalism because it was convenient for me as one who enjoyed writing and sports. I don't think this is my final stop, but all there is to do is keep exploring in my free time and hope that one day, it'll all make sense.
I'd never heard that 2yr advice before, but somehow followed it anyway. Part of me wonders if we ever really know where/what we're supposed to be. So I just follow the advice of a dear friend... "Work to live. Don't live to work." It's kept those nagging thoughts from festering, because it reminds me to think of the big picture. Kudos to you for taking the leap!
totally hear you! I am at my first job now, coming up on two years in a couple of months... i am "good at the job i have" :) Thanks for the advice
-J
I think if you're doing your job to support yourself while you do your own writing, then that's one thing. It almost doesn't matter what you do, as long as it doesn't leave you too tired at the end of the day to write your own stuff.
Never let your day job seep into your real job, I think.
I think you are getting tripped up on some fantasy that we have been sold through the media, church, and anything else that romanticizes life. There is no meaning and there is nothing that are you SUPPOSED to do. It's a myth that you shouldn't get too preoccupied with. The void you are feeling is not indicative of you missing out on any predestined path. It doesn't exist.
If you find a job that keeps you entertained/challenged for a large portion of the day with a fairly large paycheck, you are well ahead of the game. So you are a publicist....helping very large companies keep up their profiles so they can sell more of whatever they sell and get bigger. I don't think that if there was a meaning to life, it would include anyone being a publicist. That's not a jab at you, though. It just is what it is is. You enjoy your job most days, you make some dough, and you have enough free time to spend that money on enjoying life with your partner. If life is a game, you are in a pretty good position.
This world is a messy place. Turn on the news and most people don't have the luxury of looking for meaning. They are too busy looking for something to eat and somewhere...anywhere... to work. Meaning...much like vegetarianism, fashion, apartment hunting, and career choices....are very elite problem that you should feel lucky to have.
You want some meaning? Go help someone today. Don't have it in you to be a teacher or a doctor or whatever else job there is that helps people? Use your publicist job to do some pro-bono work for a good cause or give money to something that means something to you. Helping people that can't do it themselves....that's the only thing with meaning.
wow! That is the first comment from someone anonymous that i have actually enjoyed! Great advice! Although, i don't think that just because many people are suffering, we shouldn't still look for ways to better ourselves or find contentment. But still, good show!
-J
join the club. maybe finding your ideal life is just overrated i'm starting to think.
Bring back the sex columns.
I find myself writing the same kind of thing in my journal every two years. One should not stay at a job they don't really like for more than two years, or even one you do sort of like. What you do every day from 9-5 (or 8-6, as it were) should be new and challenging. Even if you sort of hate it.
Of course, I don't think anyone knows what they want to be when they grow up. I know I don't. And maybe I never will.
Words of wisdom from Mr. Gene Simmons:
KISS bassist/vocalist Gene Simmons offered some straight answers to Artisan News Service in regards to his humility and money issues in light of his starring role in Donald Trump's NBC show "The Apprentice: Celebrity Edition". "The first job I had was cleaning fat off of a butcher's block," he said. "I had to take this thing that looked like a mop and get the fat off. Then of course I'd have to go down to the basement, which was rat-infested and bring up sides of beef. It was a pretty rotten job, but you know what?! At the end of the week I really appreciated the money. That money I earned, and I felt proud. It wasn't a craft, it wasn't something I had to learn, but I had pride in the labor, and the work I had done. So I appreciated the money."
Simmons added that he understands he's lucky to have a job he loves to do. "This notion that you have to have passion and you have to love what you're doing is the biggest load of crap I've ever heard," he said. "Most of the people on the planet don't have that advantage. They have to go to work at jobs they hate, they'd be lucky to have a job. The rest of us who happened to do what we love doing, that's a privilege and a blessing. But the notion you have to love what you're doing is nonsense. Just work and get paid, that's enough of a value."
Well that's weird... if Gene Simmons really felt that way wouldn't he still be cleaning the fat off of a butcher's block?
-J
Amen to what anonymous #1 said. I think it's normal to feel alienated at work sometimes (and I do), but it's important to keep things in perspective. Every choice involves a trade-off. For most people who aren't independently wealthy, there is no "perfect job," no matter how often you bounce from one to the other. You want to go full-time creative and fill that void? Be prepared to be broke, unless you're both talented and lucky. You want the $$$? Be prepared for existential crises and periods of ennui. There's a downside to every decision in life. Happiness comes from within and depends on what you choose to think about your life. You're as happy as you think you are.
I'm just impressed with your two-year willpower. I think the longest stint on my resume that doesn't say "freelance" is about six months. And I couldn't be happier. Broke but happy.
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i'm going to say the opposite of what almost everybody seems to be saying. i spent 7 years working in a dead end job teaching english in japan. i kept working because:
a) the pay was good
b) the job was sometimes enjoyable
c) i kept getting promoted, and i kept thinking that that challenge was enough
d)i loved living in japan, and i was scared that if i left, i'd have no idea what to do with my life and i'd get depressed.
i only quit that job (and left japan) because a terrifying experience with a stalker left me unable to get out of bed and go to work.
i should track down my stalker and bake him a fucking cake.
within 3 months of leaving that job i was enrolled in a ph.d.
i know ph.d.s are supposed to be tedious and stressful and a waste of time, but i'm really enjoying myself.
what i'm doing now is the best thing i've ever done. i'm having fun (i'm not kidding. i ENJOY writing about the things i care about), and i'm using all of my talents. the ones i never got to use at my last job. and i no longer wake up with a dry mouth and a pounding heart and an incalculable sense of loss, feeling like i'm wasting myself.
oh, yeah, and when i was working at that job, i was happy, but i had to WORK hard at being happy. now i'm happy and it doesn't take any effort to be happy.
I think it can be so hard for creative individuals in particular to find their calling, it's always a struggle between what you should do (what makes you money) and what you want to do...if only we could all be paid to blog... like Perez... LOVE this posting, so true
I completely agree. At barely 20, I've worked at more than a handful of places. I think when you're young is when you're supposed to move around and realize your potential and when you get older is when you should maximize it.
M0AR PLZZ
I recently struggled with the what am I doing and where is my life? I too was working, for a paycheck, or just because it seemed like the right thing to do, in public relations ---a career, which by the way is in my opinion absolute bullshit. Backstabbing bitches, fake clients, miserable bosses - what a life!
However, I had an epiphany one day -- I decided to opt for taking a stand. Go against the odds, so to speak and pursue what I truly want to do - doing what I love. Sure, getting paid is good but getting paid to be who you are, doing exactly what you want to do is much more rewarding. I know, I know..you've probably heard this heartfelt see the light speech over and over again, but I two years somewhere? Honey, three, four months somewhere if you are miserable and feel threaten to not be who you are is just plain fucking stupid. From reading your blog it doesn't really sound like you want to be a publicist, it sounds like you want to be a writer.
My advice - stop reacting to your feelings and start acting on them.
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i'm grateful i left my first job after college, if only to avoid being one of the people that job for whom it had been their first/last job...
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