I guess as a result of one too many skanky schoolgirls and i-put-out police officers (my costume of choice two years ago), costume manufacturers (or “dress up pimps” as I prefer to call them) have really begun to outdo themselves. If you’re in the market to look like a trick rather than a treat, here’s some suggestions for Halloween 08:
The Dirty Martini
If you want a costume that makes your tits look like they have gangrene and your nipples look inflamed and chapped, this is the number for you.
A Gangbang Ghostbuster
Was your boyfriend a total nerd who lived in his parent’s basement in 1986? Well, fulfill his fantasies 21 years later with this ridiculous outfit.
Christy Creams
Lovely. At least morbidly obese teens have a new jerkoff queen.
Money Honey
What man really wants an honest woman on Halloween?
Foreign Exchange Student
This one actually reads “she loves the USA so much that she’ll do anything for a green card!” I know this was a plot for something I watched on Spice once.
The Judge Judy
There’s also a “Sexy Prosecutor” and “Sexy Defense Attorney” for a trio of skanks.
Stud Finder
With cones for your cones…
Ok, I could do this all day. I have to stop. I'll leave you with my personal favorite, what the classiest girl at the party will be wearing:
The Happy Endings Health Spa Costume
$30.00 for a cheap piece of silk. Lotion (and elbow grease) not included.
17 comments:
wow. what happened to being a pumpkin?
these are hilarious!
i've seen people wear some of these too,
i swear.
the dirty martini description is right on
and my favorite. who'd really wear that?
Is it wrong that I think the donut one is cute?
Personally my fave is the construction worker with cone tits. Just that extra bit o' class.
And all are available at your local Ricky's! Lookin good, feelin good!
Halloween is a pagan holiday. You are going to hell.
-JK
I like all of these costumes. What's wrong with any of them? Bodies are beautiful. They should be shown off. At every possible moment. Ha.
I hate Halloween
I'm avoiding all costume parties, but should I be forced to dress up I want to be someone classy - like Grace Kelly.
Do you think I'll be stoned?
Who the fuck would wear those, honestly? Other than Paris Hilton?
Ridiculous.
Signed, Trixie from Toronto, but also known as Jacy
Sad to say, I'm actually doing the "sexed up" Halloween costume this year - and ONLY because I'm actually going out to a club. I'm going as "Blueberry Muffin" from Strawberry Shortcake, though oddly enough, really just looks like a blue version of an Oktoberfest outfit...
Last year I was a dead cheerleader and that was a LOT more fun...!!
By the way, wasn't it the movie "Mean Girls" that stated it's the one time of year women can dress like sluts and get away with it??
It's the moooost wonderful time of the year! With the girls dressing slutty, all the boys get so nutty at this time of the fall, it's the hap-hap-happiest season of all!!!
the judge actually cracks me up with that wig, like very hot grandma or something
No wonder my baked potato outfit a few years back didn't fare so well. It was nothing compared to a dirty martini.
So true, Ella. And kudos to you for owning up to the P.O. uniform from two years ago... mine was the sexy G.I. Jane. Thank god with age comes wisdom. Now. What are you gonna be this year? :)
quin - oh, you can be a slutty pumpkin. trust me
dre - the martini one just floored me. i'm guessing girls from nebraska who just moved to nyc.
sally - yes, ricky's - lookin' good, hookin' good!
jk - see you there.
haha - good. i expect to see you as a masseuse this year.
model - what about a slutty grace kelly?
jacy - i dunno. what do people in toronto do? dress up like americans? that's slutty.
andrea - blueberry muffin! that rocks. here's a story - last year i was packing up some things from my mother's and found a bunch of strawberry shortcake figurines. they all STILL SMELL. seriously, how can that NOT be toxic.
t - i just wish men would be sluttier too. i'd love to see some ball buldge.
nyc - i love the judge. reminds me of "sex court" on playboy.
rc - the baked potato costume failed?? you didn't use enough butter.
oob - not sure i am dressing up this year.
LOVE IT!
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