Today started like any other morning. I kept re-setting my alarm until I finally couldn’t avoid getting out of bed one minute longer (seriously…I have to be at work at 9 and I get out of bed at 8:32 or so). Managed to find something cute to wear, brushed my teeth, combed my hair and started to head out the door. I usually grab the doorknob without looking and slam it shut behind me. And that I did. But this morning, fate decided that my left middle finger should stay in between the door and the door frame. I looked back to free it and saw blood everywhere…all over my hand and covering the doorknob.
Sadly, I wasn’t even hungover so I had absolutely no excuse for this fuck up. I raced back into my apartment and ran my finger under water in my bathroom sink…all the while watching a good chunk of the tip of my finger blowin’ in the (wet) breeze. I managed to curb the bleeding, wrap it in three band-aids and hop into a cab to go to work. Got there and the throbbing pain was just too unbearable for words. Finally some co-workers with sanity convinced me to go to the ER.
Walked over to Beth Israel (where I really should have my own wing as I have had wrist and double hip surgery there over the last several years) to the ER. They gave me an x-ray (normal) and then (fortunately) just cleaned it up (no stitches). But then, just when I thought the coast was clear, this cute little blonde nurse came in with a needle to give me a TETANUS SHOT. Ok, ok…I know it’s a good thing to get one of these bad boys (I can now walk in fields barefoot and not worry about rusty nails…‘cuz, you know, that’s what New Yorkers do) but, um, is it necessary for these shots to leave such a painful impression? I am sitting home on a Friday night with an arm that is THROBBING in pain (after 5 drinks, mind you) and can barely move. What the fuck?
So, yeah, I was gonna give you all a good story but I’m in way too much pain to muster up something sexy and interesting. This sucks. Plain and simple. I think I’m gonna go shoot myself with a nail gun. At least I won’t get tetanus…
5 comments:
Ouch, sounds painful. Hope you feel better. Maybe have a few more drinks?
And stop being so pissy on Gchat. Jeez, dude... =+)
Meouch. I have not done that, but on more than one tired mornign I have walked into the door while simultaneously trying to open it. Apparently this is a very difficult left brain/right brain process sans the proper dosage of caffeine. Be well fellow muppet lover-GSpot
Oh, and thanks for the Gawker love
She must've shot it right into your muscle. Bitch.
Couldn't they make it a tetanus cocktail; Three parts serum and two parts morphine. Oh, and one part love:)
Good to have you back, sorry about the bloody door. Will you require a finger donor? Cuz if we're the same type...
Tetnus shots are supposed to last for 10 years. Keep this year in mind. In 8 years you might do the exact same thing and then you can say, "Oh no thanks, I had this shot back in 07."
-JK
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