It’s a shame that it usually takes tragedy to remind us of joy; death to remind us of life; and loss to remind us of fortune.It’s just like how it was when I was 16 and lost one of my best friends from childhood to a head-on collision. I keep her mass card close to my bed and look at it on a regular basis, reminding myself of all the days I have had that she did not. Reading it always makes me realize that there is a bright side, which, ironically, was the biggest lesson she taught me while she was here.
My eyes fixated on her mass card when I got home today and was about to put on CNN to watch more coverage of the shooting. But some little voice - be it mine or hers - told me to take some time to reflect instead.
So, while the world is still at war, while society is still divided on ignorant matters of race, and while we are trying to comprehend why someone could commit mass murder, there’s a part of me forcing good things to the surface. It’s not an exercise in selfishness; it is a reminder of hope.
And so I hope you’ll add your own things to this list, no matter how big or small.
Love,
Ella
50 Things That Make Me Happy (in no particular order)
1. Finding old photographs
2. A game at Yankee stadium on a hot summer night (even better if it’s vs. the Red Sox)
3. Knowing I believed in Santa
4. Butterscotch pudding
5. Fraggle Rock
6. When a kiss is so good that every thought leaves your mind
7. My brother’s talent
8. Picasso
9. My grandmother’s perfume (Chanel No. 5)
10. Knowing the answer to Final Jeopardy!
11. Ray Charles
12. My friend’s new son, David - born April 11
13. Reading something so good that it makes me want to quit writing
14. Reading something so good that it makes me want to keep writing
15. Street musicians
16. Being in bed with someone who wants to give me an orgasm
17. My favorite number (and birth date), 17
18. The fact that I was in love when I lost my virginity
19. The Museum of Natural History
20. Conversations with my father (now that he sees me as an adult)
21. Hearing a song I haven’t heard for 15 years and still knowing every word
22. The recognition and subsequent smile on my friend’s daughter’s face when I walk into a room (it’s as close to heaven as I get)
23. Live music
24. When you go to a restaurant starving and they have bread on the table
25. Being in love
26. Being loved back
27. Knowing my mother will be my children’s grandmother
28. Clean, cool sheets
29. McDonald’s
30. Getting a laugh, a really deep laugh, out of anyone (it’s close to an orgasm for me)
31. Walking home from work across St. Mark’s place
32. When doing something I’ve dreaded turns out to be one of the best experiences of my life
33. Bowling
34. Friendly New Yorkers (and there are thousands of them)
35. The thought of being a mommy
36. Puppies
37. Chilly fall nights in New England
38. Knowing I was smart enough to end that relationship
39. The fact that my mother sends a card for EVERY holiday
40. Oversized, white Hanes wife beaters
41. When I am flying into Vegas and see the strip below
42. My view of the Empire State Building
43. Every moment with my Number One Gay
44. When my relatives tell stories about the “Old Neighborhood” on Christmas
45. Sweet Gherkin Pickles
46. The fact that they fixed my hips
47. Unpacking old Christmas ornaments
48. Believing “he” is out there, somewhere
49. The moment I realize that a weekend morning is NOT a weekday and I can go back to sleep
50. You
10 comments:
Hello!
welcome to my blog and give some comments:
http://lujiechang.blogspot.com
thank you.
The baby that my brother and his wife are expecting.
My kickball team.
And...they fixed Ella's hips...thanks for the laughs! (Here, and in Gawker comments.)
Can't really think of anything witty or significant to add, but yeah... after a horrible tragedy like this, it's important to take stock. It's weird how there's all this carnage going on in Iraq and yet it seems so far away (I guess because it is), but this hits really close to home. It's awful.
#49 = SO yes.
Also: the first sip of a new beer, morning sunlight, the end of the school year, holding a soft fuzzy kitten, the feel of a cherished necklace warming on your skin, waves crashing on a beach, children laughing, a crinkly-eyed smile, a perfect apple, new shoes, music, hugs, and the smell of fresh-baked bread.
Here's one of mine: the fact that the bodegas always have the happy looking flowers in the shittiest weather, like little promises of spring. Especially hyacinths, which smell of spring.
thank god for your health. it's the thing we mst take for granted. imagine how shitty life would be without your hips being fixed!
the taste of stamps
hearing a great new song
tuna fish and saltines
bargains
new shoes
being around good friends
laughing fits
So much stuff! Those were just the first 7 that came to mind :) Nice post Ella-- i'm an eternal optimist too, your friend sounds like a sweetheart.
-Jew
Sunny Sunday mornings, cat breath, earth-shattering sex, found money, bagels with cream cheese, being in love, smell of cut grass, sunflowers, Snoopynose hugs.
IPAs
311 and the positivity they exude (sadly confused with gayness)
camping
sleepy New England towns
Turner Classic Movies
trees
marijuana
decrepid amusement parks
the smell of christmas trees
bonnaroo
dressing up for holidays
throwing a mean whiffle curve ball
steel drums on a beach
cities older than america
museums
Town Hall and Bowery Ballroom
M. Ward's voice
Old men sitting on folding chairs on the sidewalk
Lox (i'm half jewish)
Sunday sauce (i'm half italian)
Kissing old italian uncles on the cheek
Nick at Nite
Big hugs
Thinking about that crazy North End Italian lithograph in Boston...might be one of the funniest things of all time.
A million other things. I like thinking about things that make me happy. That makes me happy too.
-JK
lujie - thank you for making my blog a whore for promoting your blog! ugh.
katie - nice to meet you. welcome.
haha - yes. over 100 people died in iraq today. i don't believe many any were american, but it doesn't really matter anymore.
em and cee - agreed on that fresh baked bread. yum.
sally - SO TRUE. and they put some fucked up, probably cancer-causing chemical on them because they last for over a week at least.
cajun - yes, i am thankful everyday. or at least every time i am in my favorite pair of 5" stiletto heels.
jew - i hate tuna fish but i do love the taste of stamps. can you even lick stamps anymore?
cheese - YES to the grass. even though i am allergic.
JK - the night with the lithograph still remains one of my most cherished memories. if not for the caricature of tony danza.
la guy and doughboy - thank you for never commenting on anything that doesn't involve sex.
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